Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Baby, Baby, Baby, Ohhhh Baby

*The following story is grosser (more gross?) than this picture





And now ladies and gentlemen...I would like to present...the grossest thing ever said to me while eating.


Scene: Local Mexican Food Restaurant


Players: My Mother, Me, Girl who I don't really know but my mom kind of knows...and her newborn baby


ACTION


Mom (To Girl who I don't really know but my mom kind of knows as she carries newborn baby past our table): Oh hi! Let me see that precious baby! (oohs and awws) Jahni, look at this cute thing, isn't he precious? (oohs and awws and stares and wishes for another grandchild)


Me(feigning interest): Oh, he is cute...(goes back to eating my delicious chicken fajitas..don't get me wrong, I love kids, and this one was very cute, but I was hungry and did I mention the delicious chicken fajitas?)


Girl who I don't really know but my mom kind of knows: Thanks, he's ok, we kind of like him I guess, I mean he cries and stuff, but we put up with it, 'cause you know the State makes us and junk


*ok, i may have ad libbed that last part, she was typical joyful new parent..but i swear to you, this next part is the straight truth*


Mom: Well, how are you feeling?


Girl who I don't really know but my mom kind of knows: I'm doing better, I had to have an emergency C-Section because my placenta was rotten.




Yeah. Meal Finished.

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