Monday, October 13, 2008

Around My Hometown

A colleague of mine has one of the funniest obsessions. He keeps his cell phone handy and snaps odd photos from around The County. Last week I begged him to start his own blog and share his "art" with the rest of the world. He refused, so I'm doing it for him. I honestly don't know what's funnier, the pictures, or his narrative (which follows the pic). So here you go world...the brilliance that is The County.

"So.....I'm at the Roadrunner gas station this past Friday and this truck pulls up beside me. Was it really necessary to paint "Not For Hire" on the door? Do people run up to this truck when they see it and ask to hire the owner? You know at some point this guy had to be sittin' around on his porch thinking "Son of a Bitch! That's the last damn time someone's gonna ask me to hire out my truck!"

Monday, September 29, 2008

I've Got A Question For You

Ok, so i've been MIA from ( i hate typing that out...again, thanks JUSTIN). I've decided to ease back into it Actor's Studio style. I have to admit I only started watching Inside the Actor's Studio because of Will I think it would only be appropriate of me to include a clip after the infamous 10 Questions...and if you don't know what I'm talking about...I'm sorry. Google it.

1. What is Your Favorite Word?
- Beach

2. What is Your Least Favorite Word?
- Any slang for bathroom stuff

3. What Turns You On?
- Funny Sarcasm

4. What Turns You Off?
- Haughty Rudeness

5. What Sound Do You Love?
- Ella calling me "Sonny," and things that make clicks.

6. What Sound Do You Hate?
-Flourescent Light Bulbs the one in my office...right now....

7. What is Your Favorite Curse Word?
- "Well CatShit!"

8. What Profession, Other Than Your Own, Would You Like To Attempt?
- ER Doctor

9. What Profession Would You Not Like To Do?
- Math Teacher

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
-"Well done, my good and faithful servant"

And here's the clip (can't figure out how to post from You oh well....Will Ferrell = Genious...

Monday, August 4, 2008

Happy Birthday Baby!

She's 5 ya'll! Vivy Jane, JD -Law Dog, Online Shopper, Roommate, Snuggle Buddy, World Traveler, Sharp Shooter, All Around Entertainer- turns 5 years old today.

Viv- you're the best. Thanks for keeping the house stocked with Diet Pepsi and for not caring how i look in the morning. Because it's your birthday today I will forget about waking up to your butt in my face this morning.

Morning After Law School Graduation

Halloween 05

Deer Season 07

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Mother and Child Reunion

And THIS, Mother, would be the reason why I don't call as often as I should...

Mom (on phone): I talked to [former classmate] about your class reunion this weekend.

Me (also on phone): Oh yeah? (How do i know this will not end well?)

Mom: She said y'all had the best time!

Me: Oh yeah? (Was she at the same reunion as i was? Because the part that she's talking about was NOT "the best time!" It was a hot awkward mess...but still digs at those who put it know what i'm talking about...)

Mom: She said they gave you an award?

Me: No, they didn't. (How is it that my mother now knows more about my class reunion than i do? And why does that bother me so?)

Mom: She said they gave it to you after you left.

Me: Oh yeah? (Love being talked about after I leave!)

Mom: Yeah, they gave you an award because you wore a dress.

Me: Oh yeah? (Wow...Creative Bunch)

Mom: Yeah, you know you didn't dress very well in high school.

Me: Thanks, Mom (Stab to my heart, thank you for resurrecting all of those old insecurities)

Mom: Well (ha-ha-ha) you really didn't.

Me: Ok (Knife plunging deeper)

Mom: I mean, it was pretty bad.

Me: Thanks, again. I have to go. (Done with this)

Mom: Really bad.

Me (flipping her off thru the phone): Gotcha. I'm done talking. Bye.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Thank You For Being a Friend

R.I.P. Sophia
Estelle Getty 1924-2008
"Estelle Getty, the diminutive actress who spent 40 years struggling for success before landing a role of a lifetime in 1985 as the sarcastic octogenarian Sophia on TV's "The Golden Girls," has died. She was 84.Getty, who suffered from advanced dementia, died at about 5:30 a.m. Tuesday at her Hollywood Boulevard home, said her son, Carl Gettleman of Santa Monica.
"She was loved throughout the world in six continents, and if they loved sitcoms in Antarctica she would have been loved on seven continents," her son said. "She was one of the most talented comedic actresses who ever lived."
"The Golden Girls," featuring four female retirees sharing a house in Miami, grew out of NBC programming chief Brandon Tartikoff's belief that television was ignoring its older viewers.
Three of its stars had already appeared in previous series: Bea Arthur in "Maude," Betty White in "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" and Rue McClanahan in "Mama's Family." The last character to be cast was Sophia Petrillo, the feisty 80-something mother of Arthur's character."
Sigh. At least Sophia will live forever in syndication.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

School Days

Picture in your mind the sweetest, most dependant, loving, and caring individual ever. Couple that with an innocent but twisted sense of humor and you have my first-grade teacher, Mrs. Roady.

Recent phone conversation between Mrs. Roady and her daughter Jessica...

Jess: HOLY COW! I just walked past a girl that has on a see through white shirt and NO bra! I saw BOOB!

Mrs. Roady: Oh honey, feel sorry for her. She either wants attention or she has some sort of mental disorder.

Jess: She's with her boyfriend...

Mrs. Roady (completely serious): Oh, then that means he's supporting that...He's probably her pimp.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Miami, Miami, You've Got Style...

Pop Quiz: Gossip Girl or Golden Girl?
(Thanks to the fine folks at People magazine)
I am proud to say that my only two missed questions were both misremembered Gossip Girl much as I love those crazy, backstabbing, beautful, Upper East heart will always belong to Dorothy, Rose, Blanche, and the Sicilian Spitfire..Sophia.
Here's the link if you want to test your GG and GG knowledge....

Friday, May 16, 2008

What's Your Name?

The highlight of my week? Watching Grey's Anatomy...because it featured a guest character with the same last name as me. And it's a fairly uncommon last name.


I kinda feel like a Rockstar. It's the little things.

(help me.)

Monday, May 12, 2008

I Want a Boy for my Birthday

Author's Note: This blog won't normally be used for ranting and carrying on about the shortcomings of the male species...but it's my birthday week and someone screwed up let me rant for a few...k?

SO! Mister finally gets home from his trip (the same trip he was on when he "forgot" to send me flowers for my birthday and then told me to get over it....but i digress...

Mister is home and we're enjoying an outdoor dinner with my parents, I'm being semi-nice to him while i'm "getting over it," when he announces that my present is in his truck and for me to go get it....hmm...not the best way to be gifted, but whatever. So I go and retrieve my gift...anxiously waiting to tear into the diamond earrings that he mentioned he was going to buy me for my birthday...I even thought that he would spring for a larger pair in deference to the whole flowers incident. As I carried my gift back to the table, I thought how awfully clever it was of him to disguise my gift in a large heavy box. He's sneaky like that. So I carefully remove the ribbon (it was beautifully wrapped) and carefully slit the tape apart, and unwrap my new, beautful, sparkling,.......


again. good luck to you, mister. this does not bode well.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

You Don't Bring Me Flowers

After 5 years together (give or take year while we were on hiatus), you think it would be OBVIOUS to at least acknowledge my birthday with a floral sentiment. ESPECIALLY if you are out of town. ESPECIALLY if you are out of town for the second year in a row. ESPECIALLY if you are out of town, for the second year in a row, and celebrating with my sister instead of me.

And by the way...telling me to "get over it" usually doesn't work out so well for yeah...good luck.