Thursday, November 8, 2007

Dear Chicago

So I went to Chicago for work, and guess what? It's windy there. Who knew? So I'm walking down Michigan Ave. looking incredibly cute in my Ralph Lauren-esqe (not a knockoff Kari, it's just reminiscent of Ralph) button down shirt dress and amazing Coach boots (which left not so amazing gigantic, near crippling blisters on each of my heels...i have pics), my arms loaded with shopping bags, and yeah...basically the wind blew really hard and I full on flashed the Magnificent Mile. It was nothing if not classy. The good news? I made $20.00 from a passer-by which paid for my cab ride back to the hotel (again, if my boss is reading this, i'm totally kidding...i made $40.00).

So yeah, I spent the week with 5,000 Risk Managers, and I'm guessing none were under the age of 40, but they were a rocking group, plus it's easier to be the prettiest when you're the youngest. And we all know that pretty and young = old men buying you drinks and dinner. I had dinner one night with an event planner who rode a camel down Michigan Avenue for his 65th birthday and who was spending the following weekend with George Lucas. I took an amazing boat ride/architectural tour of Chicago and saw some really cool buildings. I made quick friends with the manager of Carmines Steakhouse who totally hooked me up with an awesome table next to a college rugby team and gave me dinner on the house to boot! I'm convinced it was the accent, those Northerners love a little Southern Sass...either that or he witnessed my Mag Mile Flashing Fiasco. I even managed to get a little bit of work done while I was there! Amazing..

Not bad Chicago...Not Bad!


So yeah. I went to Florida and my blog went to hel..oops. My blogging did not continue. And also, I've decided to attempt to reign in my potty mouth. Apparently using foul language in front of a 1 year-old is not a brilliant idea. My apologies to my precious Ella for dropping a few choice words in your presence...but I'm sure it' s nothing worse than what your parents say in front of you on a daily basis.

So, 7 Tapley's, 2 Harris', 1 boyfriend, a 3-legged pomeranian, 1 over-exposed Dora Doll, and 3 vehicles made the tri-annual trek to the Redneck Rivieria last month, and I'm happy to report (in the fashion of the one and only Mrs. Orane Goode, the original page 6 columnist for The Valliant Leader...and it's pronounced 'Gude') that a good time was had by all! The boys did find their first day of deep sea fishing cut short due to rough waters and major sea sickness on the part of one whom shall remain nameless....the boy puked up everything but his toenails...and even those were loose by the time they made it to dry land.

But all in all it was a great trip, even if I did have to come home three days earlier than everyone else in my family because of work related responsibilities. Stupid Job. And if my boss reads this, I'm only kidding. I love my job. The food was awesome, the water was beautiful, and the tourist were gone. PERFECT.

By the Way..
If you've never seen a 1 year old stand at the edge of the water and scream her own name at the're missing out.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Talk Dirty To Me

It's official. I have a potty mouth. Me. Jahni. For those of you who aren't familiar with my background, I'm a small town, tres conservative, polite, well-mannered, all-American, Southern Baptist girl. There was a time (not so very long ago) when using a swear (curse, cuss, bad word) would cause me to immediately apologize and beg the pardon of whoever was in earshot. Yeah. Not the case anymore. The girl who has still never used the word "butt" in front of her parents ("so inappropriate Jahni, say rear-end or behind") has become a full on, sailor worthy, biker blushing, potty mouth. And I like it. Granted, there are words that I still refuse to use because they are tres gauche...The F-Word, GD-Word, and basically any word referring to male or female genetalia...but can I just tell you...I think I'm really good at using the few that are left. I would really like to list for you the different ways to use my favorites, but I'm not sure I've gotten to the point where I feel comfortable actually writing out those words. Besides, what if my preacher reads this? Maybe I should spend a little time here and attempt to figure out why I get so much joy out of my recent foul-mouthed fairings. Nahh. It's to much fun!

In the's a funny video that I like to call Bible Study Gone Bad. It just seems to fit today's topic. I'm sure God will dole out some sort of similiar punishment to me for all of my verbal tirades.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Here She Comes

Hey everyone, and welcome to WWjD...note the lower case j. It stands for Jahni, not Jesus. Sorry you had to actually type out, but unforutnately was already taken. Shout out to Justin (of who has not written in his blog since Aug. 6, 2001. Thanks Justin. This is my first blog, and as you may have guessed from the byline, it was mainly the brainchild of my cronie and co-hort, Kari, of If you haven't met us, you're missing out. We're fabulously personable, but fairly exclusive. If you're with us, you're gonna have a good time. We're fashion minded, entertainment focused, legally competent, and unabashedly the best way possible way, of course. We don't balk at the price of a pair of Jimmy Choos, were raised with all of the etiquette and charm of Southern Belles, and refuse to deal with your self-esteem issues. So, in the spirit of "I know we can do soooo much better than those other pathetic blogs..." welcome.
And by the way it's pronounced "Johnny." Like the boys name. But spelled like an Indian Zucchini.