I do not need therapy. I, sir, am perfectly normal. In my mind, every thought I think is perfectly rational or, at the very least, justifiable. And no, you may not point out that I am capable of justifying everything from eating a giant piece of chocolate cake on Sunday night (need to see if my medication is responding to my varying sugar levels AND I'm starting new eating plan on Monday) to spending a few hundred dollars on a great pair of shoes (cost per wear!).
Further, dear friend, I feel the record should reflect that it is perfectly normal to prepare yourself for the ending of a dating relationship (or whatever you want to call it). Therefore if one makes the statement "I'm so not talking to him anymore" and then proceeds to talk to the him again...and again...annnnnd again, in order to gear up for the actual not talking to the him, you shouldn't judge. It's a process. A long, drawn out, stressful, anxiety ridden, sometimes devastating, but often FUN, process.
Also, just a small point of interest: taking me to a movie and repeatedly pointing out..."see, you're her, and he's JUST NOT THAT INTO HER," does not help matters. In fact, it just fuels the fiery effort to PROVE YOU WRONG.
Lastly, I don't know how else to explain to you why the turkey was mine to begin with. I saw it. I saw the beauty in it. I told you to put the tickets in the ticket box. I told everyone at the table that if anyone else won it, it was going home with me. Bottom line...I AM THE REASON YOU WON THE TURKEY...therefore it's mine. But we all know that it's a moot point now...I won.
In spite of all of that...you're still a good friend, and I still don't need therapy...but maybe you could slip me that number...just in case.
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