Kids, I tell you what...I littered today and IT FELT GOOD! I rebelled
ya'll. I took the fast food sack that was overpowering my new car smell and threw that crap out the window...(after i ate my Mighty Kids Meal of course...i don't want to be trashy AND wasteful all in one day). I'm normally not a proponent of littering, i think it's lazy and rude and disrespectful...but today, i just said to hell with it. I was lazy. I was rude. I was disrespectful. And I took joy in every second of it. I'm not sure what came over me...(probably the aforementioned grease smell from the hormone laced
feux meat hamburger that was penetrating my nostrils and working its way to my seats and carpet)...I actually considered pulling over at a gas station and tossing the bag in a trash can...and then I realized that i live in The County...and I was 10 miles from the nearest gas station...and if I waited 10 miles my new car smell WOULD BE GONE FOREVER...So i did it. I DID IT. You know the process...check mirror for other cars...check to make sure you're not in front of a house...crack window barely enough for trash to make it out...check mirror again...lift bag to window...begin to toss...PULL IT BACK IN BECAUSE A CAR IS COMING!!!...wait for car to pass...check mirror to make sure car is out of sight...count to three 1..2..3..deep breath...
annnnnnnd IT'S OUTTA HERE! I swear I nearly yelped at the thrill of it all as I watched that paper bag float to the ground. I cranked my radio up and rocked out to John
Mellencamp and Little Pink Houses....and enjoyed the rest of my ride. It was damn near blissful.
So I apologize Mr. Crying Indian...On this day, I did not do my part to Keep America Beautiful...well...i take that back..have you seen my shoes? They're definitely beautiful...They're ostrich...and that's an American bird..and I'm an American...and I wore them IN America...so maybe I did do my part, Sir...maybe I did.
2 comments:
I don't even know what to say here. I mean, on the one hand, I'm appalled - appalled, I say - at your blatant disregard for the laws of your state. And in your profession, no less! Why, the utter lack of remorse alone is enough for me to question all my previous conceptions of you. Aren't we middle children? Aren't we MADE of sugar and spice and an overactive sense of guilt?
On the other hand, I yield to the priority of maintaining a good car smell. Hence, my own paranoia in certain circumstances. How I try not to park in front of Hastings or B&B Works in Mirabeau because doing so always (ALWAYS) lets some malodorous fumes drift in. How I will put an air freshener in the Jeep, and regret it the next time I get in, because it seems so . . . so . . . . artificial. Not that my Grand Cherokee is NEW. But the leather smell still takes me back . . .
I have to go now. My comment post has turned into a soliloquy. Must pretend to work.
SLP
Haha. I litter fast food trash all the time. Glad you enjoyed it. You should do it again sometime.
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