(sing the theme from The People's Court)

I have court tomorrow. This particular case is...just exhausting. I think my feelings about this case and this trial would be best expressed in a monologue by the steeliest of Steel Magnolias, the ever appropriate and civic minded...Julia Sugarbaker.

Beach Baby

Yall, if Florida were a boy, i'd totally make out with him on the first date. Our first full day at the beach has been pretty much uneventful.* And when you're with a four yr old and a one yr old, uneventful is what you aim for. Here are a few quick pics that will do until something exciting happens.


1)Mom and the kids building "stores" as Ella called them. The girl loves to shop. The sand is actually a lot whiter and the water much more blue than it looks on the picture.

2) Axton and Dog hanging out.

3) is there anything better than a coffee table pallet and a pink princess blanket after playing on the beach all day? (no, we're not making her sleep on the coffee table... She wanted to... Really....really!!

4) View from dinner at Dewey Destin's.

*does your 4 yr old niece puking up her entire dinner while still sitting at the dinner table, then projectile vomiting as you tote her out of the restaurant, count as an event?

Sweet (?) Dreams

The good news? Last night I laid my head down on my pillow and I couldn't help but notice how much it smelled like my Mema's perfume...something I haven't smelled in years since she passed away. It brought back the best memories of spending time with her, sitting next to her in church, or letting her rock me in her creaking rocking chair while she sang "bye baby buntin. "

The bad news? I was in a hotel.


Eeewwww.

Baby, Baby, Baby, Ohhhh Baby

*The following story is grosser (more gross?) than this picture

And now ladies and gentlemen...I would like to present...the grossest thing ever said to me while eating.

Scene: Local Mexican Food Restaurant

Players: My Mother, Me, Girl who I don't really know but my mom kind of knows...and her newborn baby

ACTION

Mom (To Girl who I don't really know but my mom kind of knows as she carries newborn baby past our table): Oh hi! Let me see that precious baby! (oohs and awws) Jahni, look at this cute thing, isn't he precious? (oohs and awws and stares and wishes for another grandchild)

Me(feigning interest): Oh, he is cute...(goes back to eating my delicious chicken fajitas..don't get me wrong, I love kids, and this one was very cute, but I was hungry and did I mention the delicious chicken fajitas?)

Girl who I don't really know but my mom kind of knows: Thanks, he's ok, we kind of like him I guess, I mean he cries and stuff, but we put up with it, 'cause you know the State makes us and junk

*ok, i may have ad libbed that last part, she was typical joyful new parent..but i swear to you, this next part is the straight truth*

Mom: Well, how are you feeling?

Girl who I don't really know but my mom kind of knows: I'm doing better, I had to have an emergency C-Section because my placenta was rotten.

Yeah. Meal Finished.

When I'm Sixty-Four

*This isn't me

Does being elderly really give you a free pass to say whatever you want? Or do some people just not know better? Either way, it's hard to be offended by what old people say, because then what would I (and the guy from http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays) write about today?
Example:
I was at the nail salon on Friday. I sat down in the pedicure chair next to an older lady and without an introduction, a how are you?, or even a nod, this is the conversation that ensued...

Her (staring at my toes): Do you find that because your toes are so long you bump into things more?

Me: (awkward pause while I process what she just asked me) ummm....not really?

Her: I just broke my middle toe

Me: Ouch?

ANNNND SCENE.

i do not have long toes.

Georgia On My Mind

Maybe it's because the weather is getting cooler, because when the weather starts to get cooler I know that a trip down South is not far behind. Maybe it's because I've been thinking about a Coastal Georgia vacation. Or maybe it's because a colleague recently had the AUDACITY to not only question or imply, but to outright call me unethical. Y'all...it was ugly. I know that I'm a nice and respectful person. I know that I work hard to maintain professional decorum in and out of the courtroom. And I know that I work everyday to abide by the rules of professional conduct when representing my clients. But when someone flat out, wrongly accuses me of unethical practice..well..it just doesn't suit. And so I had to defend myself. But I may have went overboard. Like I said, maybe it was the southern influence...but i did it...that's right..I went Julia Sugarbaker on her ass.



And so, because of this latest inspiration (the details of which I can't disclose for legal reasons), I've decided that we all need a daily (or at least weekly) dose of Julia Sugarbaker...and why not start out with what I believe to be the best Sugarbakering of all...

Calendar Girl...Part I

*Lucas, Jahni, Kari, Adam, Destin, 2005...Has nothing to do with the post.

It's only been a year. Can I claim that I've had writers block for a year? I'm pretty sure that anyone who reads this pitiful excuse for entertainement probably knows me IRL and doesn't really need much of an update, but just in case (and because i have NOTHING else to talk about) here's what has happened in the life of Jahni since August 2009.

Hmm...*crickets*

Ok, I'll try harder...I went to Denver for work last October. I wore ballet flats and it snowed... and I was LITERALLY shocked....by snow...in Colorado....heaven help me. Most people would not be surprised by snow in Colorado, but me? I think I constantly yelled "WTH Colorado?!" for the entire 20 minutes that I sat/stood/shivered outside the airport waiting for my taxi. But on a positive note I saw 1,000 zombies do the Thriller dance. Thank you Denver.

October, to any Oklahoma State Alumnae, also means HOMECOMING! I had a great weekend with a very good friend pretending like I was back in college. The weekend was made even better by my little sister Jennifer's engagement...perfect timing, perfect day, perfect ring, perfect couple

*Jimmy and Jennifer at the tailgate post-propososal...and yes, Jennifer, your ring still looks as pretty now as it did that day...so stop asking.

*Me, Jennifer, and My Hat at the OSU/Texas game later that season

I don't think anything interesting happened in November other than Thanksgiving and shopping, but at some point in the past year, it snowed...ACTUAL SNOW! I think it was actually in Feb or March, but I'll put this pic of Mom and Dad's house here because I don't have any other pic for Nov.

In December I ran my first Half Marathon and made a solemn vow to NEVER DO THAT AGAIN. It was miserable and it hurt. I've signed up for my second Half Marathon this December.

*My finisher's medal from the race...13.1 miles 2hrs 23min

2010 started out with a bang and me getting my wisdom teeth removed (this is stellar info, right?). It also started full throttle wedding planning for Jennifer's wedding. For those of you who have had your wisdom teeth removed, did you spend the day of your surgery recuperating on the couch, drinking milk shakes, and popping pain meds (amazing, wonderful pain meds)? Or did you go bridesmaid dress shopping? Maid of Honor, bitches...bridesmaid dress shopping the day of surgery. But it paid off, because as you can see, our dresses were beautiful...of course we didn't find these dresses the first time we went shopping, so my post surgery shopping was all in vain.

The only thing I remember that was significant about February and March is that I went to Del Rio, TX for my Great Aunt's 97th birthday and found Julio's Chips. Julio's Chips are amazing and I suggest you get your ass to South Texas, risk being murdered by Mexican drug cartel, and get a bag NOW. Also, way to go Aunt Betty.

*I am not related to this man, but apparently he knows what's up with Julios Chips.

March was spent talking my sister out of eloping.

*This is a vintage picture of my Mom trying to make Jennifer "do" ...it didn't work in 1987, and it sure as hell didn't work during wedding planning. Feel free to comment on the hair and clothing of both parties.

April was spent regretting talking my sister out of eloping.

*But I powered through the regret...mostly due to this ancient POWER ON photo of Lucas...Hi Lucas!! (I really just love this picture and wanted to use it somewhere).



April was also the bachelorette party. I should use a cliche like "what happens at the bachelorette party, stays at the bachelorette party" but then I would have to punch myself in the face for using such a d-bag phrase. Jennifer and our 3 best friends in the world spent the weekend in Dallas and had a blast. We ate great food, met a fake marine or two, and impressed a piano bar full of people with our awesomeness. That story ends there. There is one pic from the night of the party...this is the cake I special ordered from the cake shop in The County...the baker asked if I would like a "fancy J"...YOU KNOW I DID!!!

*please note the fancy J.*

Someday I will tell yall about my mother, this cake shop, and the Veteran's Day cake that "looked like the 4th of July threw up on it" (mother's words, not mine).

May was a good month. We took a last minute trip to Florida so that we could get a "real" tan for the wedding. Our last minute trip to Florida also included a last minute trip to New Orleans, and let me just say this, my parents...Bourbon Street. My SOUTHERN BAPTIST, TEE-TOTALING, ULTRA CONSERVATIVE, NEVER CURSE IN PUBLIC, RESPECTED PILLARS IN OUR COMMUNITY parents...Bourbon Street. My mother described it as "really neat" while my father has yet to speak of it, with the exception of "never again." Sadly, I didn't take any pictures...I think I was too shell shocked, by my parents, on Bourbon Street.


Also, I turned 30 in May, and I'm ok with it...no really... i am.

Two weeks after I turned 30, I married my younger sister. Yes, Oklahoma allows that, we're pretty liberal here.


Ok, Ok, so I didn't bind myself to my sister in holy matrimony, I tied her to this guy...I also took this picture (my favorite) the day I walked them into the court house and showed them how to apply for a marriage license...

And because who can resist wedding pictures???

*Here we are laughing at something I said..because I'm funny...even in a holy ceremony, I'm funny...I like to think Jesus laughed a little too...

*Jennifer and Jimmy were married inthe oldest church building in Oklahoma, which happens to be (basically) in our home town. It's an old Indian missionary church and it's beautiful. But here's a tip, if you're going to be married in a 170 yr old building, keep in mind that they did not have air conditioning 170 yrs ago...just sayin...

*All wedding pictures were taken by Aaron Snow. He's awesome. We love him. You should love him too... http://www.aaronsnowphotography.com/

I am fairly certain that life just stopped after the wedding. My family quickly realized that we had planned and planned and planned for 7 months but had forgotten to plan anything for the rest of the summer.



So i'm going to have to think about these past 4 months..and probably give them a post of their own...











So...umm..yeah..I don't know how to end this post...umm..keep on...keep on truckin?